As an athlete, ultra runner, and all-around competitive person, those were three letters from the alphabet that I hoped to never see accompanying my name on a list of race results. But this is life, and things don't always go according to plans. As I limped into the aid station at mile 28 of the North Face Endurance Challenge 50 miler my plans had completely unraveled, grinding my race and mental state to a halt.
"I'm dropping," I said to a race coordinator at the 28.4 mile aid station, trying to maintain as much politeness as possible in spite of my frustrations.
"You need your drop-bag? What number is it?" she asked.
"No, I'm done. I need to drop from the race," I said, shaking my head in disappointment. "Fuck."
I'm a firm believer in learning from one's mistakes and trying to use failure as the springboard for future success. To accomplish the first step in this process, I've got to move beyond a disappointing race effort and evaluate both the failures and successes of my training in the months leading up to the race. At this point in my relatively short running career, I am very much a student. Luckily for me, the sport of ultra running is one that allows its participants to become masters late into life. As I sit here three days from my 28th birthday, I would be in my twilight for most major sports. For ultra distance running, though, this is not necessarily the case. Competitive ultra-runners range from early twenties well into their forties. Likewise, this sport is as much about personal successes as it is about podium finishes. In short, I've got plenty of time to hone my training and racing strategies so that I can consistently perform at a level that I consider satisfactory.
To be blunt, I went into this race on what most would consider an insufficient base of mileage. Since my move to Boulder at the beginning of July, I put together roughly 4 weeks of good, consistent training. I certainly felt fit, and my ability to climb over a distance was not in doubt. That said, I've been plagued with injuries, niggles, and hiccups in training since mid-December of 2012. I dealt with IT Band Friction Syndrome (ITBS) leading up to the Bandera 100K in January. I then took time off from running after that race due to knee issues. I put in some moderate mileage in late spring and very early summer, but my move to Boulder resulted in a major lack of training during the month or so leading to July 1st. Moreover, I didn't resume consistent training until the middle of July, as I focused on settling into my new home as quickly as possible. From mid-July to mid-August I felt my fitness increase with consistent running and power-hiking around Boulder's front range. That said, I had a few niggles and muscle strains to deal with along the way. My knee issues following the Longs Peak ascent should have been enough to rule out this weekend's TNF 50-mile in Kettle Moraine, but I put in a few decent 1-2 hour runs over the last few weeks without major problems. I felt confident about my ability to endure the race, but this hinged upon my knee issues staying dormant for 50 miles of racing. The bottom line is that I was (at least somewhat) under-trained, over-stressed, and far from 100% healthy coming into a distance that cannot be taken lightly.
In a text exchange following the conclusion of my race effort, a friend and fellow ultra-enthusiast mentioned an anecdote about distance racing that rings true. The idea is that you should never start an ultra (or any race for that matter) if you are in doubt of finishing, because you've already given up at that point. While I do not question my ability to cover 50 miles given a decent base of fitness, I certainly toed the line with doubts about the health of my knee. In hindsight, I spent the early miles of the race in a state of hyper-consciousness, waiting for something to go awry with my knee. When things did start to go south, I simply tried to ignore the knee for another 10 miles. The shooting pain with every stride eventually sobered me up enough to know that it was foolish to 'tough-out' an additional 25 miles in this state. Moreover, I had clearly been compensating for the knee pain by altering my stride, as is evident from the strain in my right calf muscle. The lesson seems simple enough - don't start a race with lingering injuries that have not been resolved. Unfortunately, stubborn and wise cannot always live together in harmony. Apparently, this was a lesson I had to learn the hard way - through experience.
My early effort in the race was encouraging. I was sitting comfortably within the top 15-20, putting forth a very calculated strategy. The climbs were hardly taxing me; my heart-rate was under control; and I felt like I was conserving plenty of gas to stay strong and move up through the last 10 miles - assuming my knee would get me there. As such, I cannot be completely disappointed in the segments of the race I did complete. The first third of the race made me realize that I am starting to see the benefits of several years of solid base training. Moreover, there is a mental confidence in my fitness that is becoming more apparent the longer I run. On the other hand, I need to be smarter. If I could feel this way on a shoddy knee and scattered training, I can only imagine the potential with a healthy body and consistent, focused training. This analysis segues nicely into my future training plans.
At this point I plan on taking at least a week or so to simply rest and recover. Twenty eight miles itself was not enough to require significant rest. Unfortunately, the knee problem and resulting calf-strain demand some TLC in order for the swelling and tension to subside. Once those symptoms are significantly reduced, I intend to discontinue my running indefinitely. As I have learned over the last 9 months, trying to resume training too early will only result in more setbacks. Instead, I'm going to put together a very specific and multifaceted rehabilitation plan. I realize that I have certain muscle imbalances and bio-mechanical issues that can be very easily addressed with the right plan and execution. It is my hope that I can address these issues over the next couple of months. Once I feel that I have sufficiently addressed and improved these issues, I am going to start a very conservative and methodical training plan. The ultimate goal is to be healthy and balanced with a modest base of running miles going into late winter and early spring. I expect to have a serious fire in my belly, at which point I can hopefully begin more specific and targeted training plans for the late spring and summer racing seasons. I believe most people call this approach "patience." I have not traditionally been accustomed to such an approach to running, but maybe my body has been trying to tell me something over the last year. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to listen...
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| Not quite... |
Torn and Frayed...
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